Paying your taxes can be a miserable experience, so why not at least have a sense of humor about it. Here are some funny quotes and memes about paying taxes, tax day, and the IRS:
“People who complain about paying their income tax can be divided into two types: men and women.” – anonymous
“I’m not going to pay taxes. When they say I’m going to prison, I’ll say no, prisons cost taxpayers a lot of money. You keep what it would have cost to incarcerate me, and we’ll call it even.” – Jimmy Kimmel
In order to simplify tax collections the IRS has a new, easier to use tax form with only two lines:
- How much money did you make this year?
- Please send it in.
“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.” – anonymous quote
“This (filing taxes) is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher.” – Albert Einstein
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.” – funny quote
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream” – Bill Murray
“Don’t forget to do your taxes this year so the government can give it to people who don’t work as hard as you.”
“I’m proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.” – Arthur Godfrey
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.” – Vanya Cohen
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.” – Bill Vaughan
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!” – anonymous
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.” – funny quote
“People who save their money for a rainy day end up getting soaked by the government.” – anonymous quote
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.” – Farmer’s Almanac
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.” – Ronald Reagan
“65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.” – Jay Leno
“Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you’re allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.” – Conan O’Brien
“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them” – funny saying
“It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.” – Will Rogers
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.” – Mark Twain
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“Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?” – Peg Bracken
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” – Milton Berle
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.” – Tom Lehrer
“I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age – which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.” – Noel Coward
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” — Douglas Adams
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“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.” – George Bernard Shaw
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.” Will Rogers
“Definition of ‘Capital punishment’… The income tax.” – Jeff Hayes
“It’s fitting that April 14 is National Pecan Day because today, we recognize nuts. And tomorrow, on April 15, we pay our taxes to support them.” – Craig Ferguson
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I hope these funny tax memes and quotes brightened your tax season a little bit. If you have a meme, saying, or quote to add, please just drop us a line below.
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